The Conspiracy…

False Teeth

In passing, you probably wouldn’t notice the old lady sitting on the park bench, knitting contentedly. If you did become aware of her, she wouldn’t appear anything other than ordinary, but look more closely. Do you see the way she’s tilting her head slightly towards the couple standing nearby? It doesn’t seem like much, but consider this, how many old people are actually completely deaf? Could hearing aids actually be recording sounds, not amplifying them? Could the repetitive clicking of the knitting needles actually be the transmittance of coded messages?

Consider the old people in the supermarket, innocently confusing your trolley for theirs, but looking particularly closely at your shopping before removing their items. Occasionally it’s nothing strange, everybody makes mistakes sometimes, but when it’s always pensioners, should you start to worry?

Think about your Neighbourhood Watch scheme, they’re usually organised by volunteers aged 60 plus, but what’s in it for them? Ponder it carefully, who supplied you with, and showed you how to use the security devices in your home? Who suggested that their CCTV camera could cover your drive as well as theirs? What sort of incidents get reported, and to who?

Have you ever wondered why the majority of bingo players occupy the older age groups? There are 3 MILLION land based bingo players throughout the UK, and Gala halls are widespread; could they be ‘safe houses’ or refuges for pensioners? Examine the arrangement of the numbers on the bingo cards; is it possible that they’re carrying messages that only pensioners can understand? But why? And from who?

Now consider why OAPs are entitled to free healthcare and prescriptions, free bus passes, and most of all, pensions. Is anything ever completely free? Could it be that the pensioners of the United Kingdom are working as undercover agents for the Government? Surreptitiously watching our every move and passing on our information?